My Mistake
by Near0218
Summary: Near has hard life he is depressed and doesnt fell like anyone likes him will someone be his savior or will he take an ugly path with depression. Find out in this series of journal entries by Near. Rated T for language and a couple other things
1. Chapter 1

(A/N) Life sucks and for some reason even though I live what should be a happy life it is not and that is what inspired my story. And please only read this if you are mature enough.

Disclaimer: I do not own Death note or the characters. 

LIFE SUCKS! I, Nate River off all people should know. School is nightmare with only peppy rich kids who go with all the latest trends and pick on the ones who do not. Oh and don't forget the minorities and homosexuals who always get all this FUCKING SHIT for being different.

I go to FUCKING HOGWARTS wait what no Hogwarts that not right its Homeridge the biggest FUCKING PRICK School in America. Since it was private you think it would be different but no still the same old shit any fucking public school has to deal with except we also deal with the public shool kids for being smart and going to a prep school.

Oh wait you probably want to know how I am writing this and why my life sucks. Well first of all this is the journal I got myself for my 14th birthday and my life sucks because I am gay. Well at least other people think so I personally think I am bi but whatever. I also only have one friend named Milo Kush, now he has many friends and is becoming more and more distant as the school year goes on which is why I got this so I could tell someone else my feelings.

Well anyway today was the 16th of October in the year 2006 and as usual school fucking sucked and for the same reasons. I got called "Fag" exactly 53 times and was told I had a vagina 25 times and was also was told I had to go in the girls locker room because that's where all the people that like men go. Oh and I think I was put in a locker for close to an hour (I don't know how long to be exact) because I was so short, and my underwear was shoved so far up my ass that not even Arnold fucking Schwarzenegger could pull it out. But all in all it was a normal day.

I came home to the same empty apartment as it had always since the August of 2004. Luckily enough it was a apartment that was paid off and didn't need any keep up. I went in to my room and cried in my pillow for 3 hours then did my homework ate and then went to sleep. I dreamed about having a happy life with a man I loved and 3 beautiful children two white and one black I was happy until 6:30 when my alarm clock woke me up.

I woke up took a shower and put on my White button down and white skinny jeans, my usual attire. Then I went to my bus stop where the second worst part of the day started the bus ride to school.

You could tell when I got on the kids had been going crazy until I had got on. Because trash was everywhere but people were silent except for whispers and a gleaming death stares. I knew what the whispers were about but I did not bother to acknowledge them I just walked by.

That is how it had always been since I had come out in December of 2004 that dreaded day from when I went from being the 20th most unpopular guy to the #1 most tortured and unpopular guy in the history of schools.

But that was my mistake to thinking 7th graders were mature to enough to know and even that 9th graders were mature enough to look past me being different.

My mistake. My fucking mistake.

(A/N) I am sorry if this offends anyone who I've written this first part. If it does you should stop reading because I do not think it will change. Thanks for reading my suckish story and please review.


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N) I am having a little trouble with this journal thing because it is new to me I am also struggling with writing about Near being gay. So please I know not many people read my stories but please hang in there and do not hold back in the reviews.

Ugh another day at school another day of being called names, being shoved in lockers and trash cans, and being pummeled to the ground. But I am still living and there are only 1046 more days till I am out of that horrid place.

Oh wait have I ever said I am skipping college well I am since I do not need it. Plus it gets me out of being tormented for an extra 3-4 years. So basically that is my plan for school at all because my life sucks.

Today was strange I was being stuffed in a locker by some random Goth dude who's name I did not even know (yes that is just how much of a loser I am) when some girl who I had never even met before should up and the Goth dude fell over with one look. The Girl opened the locker I was in and helped me out.

When I got out the first thing I did was look at the Goth dude his pants were white and bulging you know where. I looked at the girl she had blonde hair that was the color of well I don't know what kind of color is blonde anyway. Her eyes were also as blue as the morning sky, and she had the face of an angel some might say.

But the strangest things were her boobs. They had to be at least cup size DD but why was I not where the Goth kid was on the ground with a bulge in my pants. I decide that this was a sign that I had to realize. The reason I had no bulge was because… I am completely gay not a little bi or not even the slightest bit or else I would have been turned on. But nope nothing, nada, zero, zip it was a hard fact top face but I came to grips with it pretty quickly.

Once I was done contemplating in my thoughts I realized the girl had been talking to me for the past 2 minutes. When I came back to reality after the couple minutes I asked the girl what her name is. She stopped mid-sentence and looked at me. She then said "Wow you really are at the bottom of the food chain if you do not who I am. I like it, it makes me happy to know I am not even known to some people." I was confused at this point but kept listening. "My name is Becky."

We talked for a little bit where she told me she felt like people only knew her for her boobs not for her. We then ended up on the question "So what is your story? I want name and all."

I told her who I was starting from my name all the way down to what I had just learned recently "… and I am gay" Her face lit up with joy as she quickly realized why I did not know her. She was so happy she found someone who would actually want to know her for not being some big boobed bitch.

On top of all this she thought I was adorable. But not in I the I want to date you way, but in the aww your so cute I want to put you in my pocket kind of way. My favorite part about her though was that she had no intent of harming me mentally or physically, and I enjoyed that.

This is how my days have gone for the past few days. Some asshole walks up to me wanting do a lot of mean shit to me. Then before he can Becky walks behind me the guy has an erection and falls over that is it. Now that I think about it is actually getting a little boring.

Becky suggested the strangest thing today. She told me I should get a boyfriend and I told her that she was a fucking crazy ass bitch but that I would think about it.

So I have been contemplating over her idea for the past 6 hours and I cannot find a logical reason except for the fact that 83%of the teenage gay population would not want to date me. But I finally came to the decision of getting a boy friend, I then texted Becky with my answer.

"Yes" was what I sent to her in a message.

"What really?" was her response.

"Yes" again is what I said.

"That's awesome I know a ton of gay people out of school. I will text them."

"Really that's awesome I cannot wait to meet a couple"

"Yup I will bring them tomorrow"

"Okay talk to you later"

"Kay bye"

That was our last text, and tomorrow we met.


End file.
